Erika Kim Cherishes Belonging in her Third Grade Classroom
By Dylan Howlett
1,787 Words | 7-minute Read
On every first day of school and every Monday, all the way through the end of third grade, Erika Kim would cry. She was the daughter of a Korean father and Puerto Rican mother, and she was a student at a majority-white independent school in Charlotte. It didn’t, and couldn’t, inspire the same belonging Kim felt when she was beside her grandparents, walking along the edges of a pond and feeding expectant geese and ducks with the heels from a loaf of bread. Her grandmother, or Halmoni, and grandfather, or Harabugi, spoke only Korean. No one they encountered in their suburban neighborhood could understand them, except for Kim and her family. Speaking Korean felt like a superpower at home, Kim said. Yet she felt powerless, alone and misunderstood at school. That is, until she stepped foot in the fourth grade classroom of Mrs. Lee.
It was a sensory embrace. Kim saw, and felt, the warm glow of lamps that dotted the room. Then she inhaled. Oh, my God, Kim thought. It smells amazing in here. Mrs. Lee would place her class set of pencils in coffee beans, and her room took on the fragrance of a hospitable roast. There were no tears on the first day of school in Mrs. Lee’s class, and there were no tears on any Monday afterward. Kim felt like she belonged. And she wanted the same for her younger brother, Jesse, who was starting his first year of preschool. “Those two experiences kind of coincided for me,” Kim said in an interview, “having a teacher who really demonstrated that I was loved and seen, and then also being able to recreate that feeling for Jesse.
“It kind of collided. I’ve known I wanted to be a teacher since I was 9.”
It is fitting, if not surprising, that Kim now works every day with 9-year-olds in her second year as a third grade teacher at Durham Academy Lower School. Her room isn’t redolent of soothing coffee or brimming with lamps, yet it aspires to the same nurturing spirit that Kim felt as a fourth grader. “I told our families on Back to School Night this year that their children feeling seen, loved and supported is the foundation of all that we’re doing in this classroom,” Kim said, “let alone what we’re doing at Durham Academy.”
In early September, Kim sat down for a wide-ranging interview with the Marketing and Communications Team about her childhood; her undergraduate research on representation in children’s literature; her journey to DA; her graduate school studies; and what she loves most about teaching third grade.
The following conversation has been lightly edited for clarity and brevity.
DA: Where did you grow up?
Kim: “I was born in New York City, and I grew up in a tiny, tiny studio apartment in Forest Hills, Queens. It had purple walls and one yellow accent wall. We lived across the street from a park. My dad, Song, is a South Korean immigrant, and my mom, Elizabeth, is from Puerto Rico. They met in New York City. It’s like a textbook international ‘meet cute’ in New York City. My grandparents lived in Astoria. Then we moved when I was 3, and I spent the rest of my childhood in Charlotte. I’m a Charlotte Latin School alum, so I kind of knew DA in passing in that way.
“I’m the first person to go to college in my family. My parents made ends meet in the ways that they could. My dad and my grandfather on his side owned a dry cleaners — George and Chris Cleaners — in Far Rockaway, Queens. My mom worked at Lord & Taylor in the city. When we moved to Charlotte, my dad started as a construction worker. He had emigrated from South Korea to Paraguay, learned Spanish and then immigrated to the United States. He eventually worked his way up — he owned a siding and framing company when I was young. My mom was a stay-at-home mom with us once we moved to Charlotte. I’m so thankful to have had her all my childhood.”
DA: What were some of your favorite memories from your childhood?
Kim: “I think some of my favorite memories are probably with my two siblings. My younger sister, Jennifer, also works for DA Summer. She’s a third-year student at UNC School of the Arts in Winston-Salem. My brother, Jesse, is a senior at Charlotte Latin School. He’s an artist, so he’s a big drawer and wants to go into visual arts. I have two artsy siblings, and then I had a very concrete plan (laughs). I knew I wanted to be a teacher.
“Jesse is six years younger than me, and he had a really hard time with school. He was at home for three years, and he had me and my sister and my mom. So that transition to school was really hard for him. I just remember that we would do flashcards in the car to help him learn his letters. And that was my first experience with teaching — doing flashcards with Jesse. That’s one of my favorite memories.”
DA: During your time as an undergraduate at Elon University, you conducted research on representation in children’s literature published between 1990 and 2020. What did you find?
Kim: “I was really interested in what Dr. Rudine Sims Bishop coined as ‘mirrors, windows and sliding glass doors.’ I really grabbed onto that during my children’s lit course in terms of, ‘How are children influenced in a classroom when they see others and they see themselves in picture books?’ It really struck me in that course because I realized I had not seen myself in any books in my 21 years of life. As part of my research, I read 100 picture books from libraries across the country. I found that not only were there books that had representation, there was also really rich representation about cultural exploration — of what it means to be Asian American, but then also seeing the disparities between East Asians, Southeast Asians, South Asians. I focused my research on East Asian representation because that’s how I identify.
“It broke my spirit in the sense that there were books published when I was a child and I just didn’t see them. I ached for my childhood self. But then on the flip side, I felt so much hope that I could use these books in my classroom and that I do get to use these books in my classroom. Having a student body here at Durham Academy where 49% of students identify as students of color, I love getting to be the sliding glass door between what they see in themselves and in somebody else.”
“She’s one of the most valuable colleagues I’ve ever had.”
Jeff Burch
Third Grade Teacher
DA: You held a variety of roles at DA Summer from 2021 to 2022, including as a camp lead and curriculum writer. But how did you eventually wind up at the Lower School?
Kim: “In the spring of 2022, I had planned to become a first-grade teaching assistant in Atlanta. I wanted to get away from North Carolina. I had the angsty 22-year-old feeling of, ‘I want to get away. I want to do something new.’ And then everything fell apart in terms of moving to Atlanta. Within two days, I had reached out to [Head of School] Michael Ulku-Steiner and said, ‘I think this is all the more reason that I know I want to be at DA. I would take anything right now in the Lower School.’ [Lower School Director] Carolyn Ronco emailed me back and said, ‘Actually, we just had a first grade TA announce she’s not coming back. Would you want to grab that job?’ I said, ‘Absolutely.’ Everything fell into place. It was exactly where I wanted to be. I knew so many people here from DA Summer. I had connections with the kids already from DA Summer. It just felt like the right place to continue growing my career.”
“She just lives with authenticity, and it trickles down through to her kids. It trickles through to how she approaches teaching. She’s always looking for how to get better. It just shows. She takes pride in what she does.”
Amanda Dolan
Third Grade Teacher
DA: You’re also pursuing your Master of Education in elementary education — with a concentration in anti-racism in urban education — at UNC Charlotte. What have you gained so far from the program?
Kim: “As a person of color, student of color and educator of color, I’m really passionate about Diversity, Equity and Inclusion. At KSI this summer, they said ‘DEIB,’ and I had not heard that before: Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging. I think that ‘b’ for me is in bold, underline, italics. It’s the whole picture for me, the belonging piece. I think in getting my master’s degree, I just want to keep learning how to be the best teacher I can be. I’m really enjoying it right now.”
DA: What do you love most about third grade?
Kim: “The first thing that comes to mind is my team. I really looked for that when I was a senior at Elon and I was interviewing at independent schools in the southeast. I really wanted to get to know my team and have a glimpse into what it would look like for us to work together. I have to say: When I sat down with Amanda Dolan, Jeff Burch, Beth Throop and our TAs, I immediately felt supported in a way that goes beyond the classroom. I felt emotionally and mentally supported in my career goals. Everything felt like it fell into place with the team. I think that was really the first thing that popped into my head: I love this team and the faculty here at the Lower School.”
“The culture in her room is comfortable and organized. The kids know what to do and where to go. The other day as her students were leaving her room for PE, she said to each and every one of them, ‘I love you! Have fun in PE!’ Making sure that children feel seen and loved is the most important — and then after that, how can we challenge them academically? You can get to that second point when you do the first one. She does both of those things really well.”
Carolyn Ronco
Lower School Director
DA: What do you hope for your third graders by the time they graduate from the Upper School in 2034?
Kim: “I think that’s something I love about an independent school and as a child of an independent school: having those lasting relationships with your teachers and your peers. My mission as an educator is not really bogged down by the content or the nitty gritty, but rather really fostering a love for lifelong learning. I model that for the kiddos in the best way I can: I Google in front of them when I don’t know something, and I screencast it to say, ‘I don’t know. Let’s look it up.’ We high-five each other for mistakes. What I want for them is to believe in themselves as learners. I talk to them about my grad school studies. I talk to them about the books I’m reading. I talk about the homework I do.
“When these kiddos graduate, I just want to see them excited about continuing to learn in whatever capacity that looks like — whether it’s becoming a physician, becoming a carpenter, becoming whatever they want to be. I think seeing them work toward that would look like success for me.”